Jesus,
He is always a great burden to me.
Because I dislike Him so.
Because following His path is so exhausting, so distasteful,
Because at times I cannot find a single justifiable reason to go that far.
I turn my face away,
I block my ears,
And I try my best to ignore Him.
Whenever I do,
He seems to leave me alone—though I am still with Him.
Yet the moment I try to break away,
He leads me back to His side,
more fiercely and more forcefully than ever,
with overwhelming power.
Even though He has never given me anything in particular,
nor does He seem about to give me anything,
even though He is so sparing with that common compliment, “Well done,”
as though such words do not even exist—
As I remain with Him,
as time passes, as I grow older,
He demands more and more from me.
He—who seems to keep His ears closed to my own demands.
Yet, somehow, He is—
Turning His back on me as if indifferent,
yet watching over me with eyes of omniscience.
Remaining as distant as the breadth of the universe,
yet standing right beside me with the power of omnipresence.
Thus, I behold Him everywhere,
I encounter Him in every place.
Though this relationship burdens me with utter exhaustion,
I count even this as Grace.
And so, bearing His Word upon my shoulders,
I take one more step forward.