From a personal perspective,
Among the many films of the 20th century that depict the life of Jesus,
there is one that remains, for me, the most profound.
Jesus of Montreal
Jesus of Montreal (1989),
a modern reinterpretation of Jesus’ life.
The most striking moment comes near the end.
Daniel, the protagonist who symbolizes “Jesus,”
lies dying in a state of brain death.
With labored breathing,
he utters his final words:
“Why is living…
why is it so hard?”
At that moment,
I had to clench my teeth
just to hold back a sudden surge of tears.
With bloodshot eyes,
barely holding myself together,
I found myself repeating his words
as if they were my own.
“What does it mean to live?”
“Why is it so overwhelming,
so unbearably difficult to keep living?”
We have grown so accustomed
to the fact of “being alive”
that we often forget
how frightening and demanding it is
to actually live through a single day.
Even within one short day,
we stand before dozens of crossroads,
forced to make choices and decisions.
Each decision carries weight,
and with it, responsibility.
And we must pass through all of it
under a trembling tension.
And then,
we wait—
as if laid upon a cutting board—
for the judgments of others.
Cold,
and at times, merciless.
Even within the family,
we do not encounter “expansion,”
but limitation.
Unfamiliar and uncomfortable relationships,
emotions we would rather avoid—
and yet we carry them all
as if nothing is wrong,
and somehow make it through another day.
Perhaps,
we are simply enduring all of this
by the force of inertia.
At times,
I come to realize how fearful and difficult living truly is
through the choices of those
who have laid down their own lives.
Before such choices—
made in an attempt to overcome the terror of existence—
I find myself returning to this question:
“What, then, does it mean to live?”
And I believe,
that the Lord will hold them close
and say:
“My child… you must have suffered so much.
It’s okay that you couldn’t finish the race.
It’s okay that you stopped along the way.
Yes…
life is that difficult.”
Today as well,
let us speak to ourselves—
to the one who has endured this day—
regardless of results,
beyond success or failure,
without hesitation,
without reservation:
“You made it through today.
It wasn’t easy… but you did well.”